Author by : Dr. Yvonne LaMar

I waited until the last minute to start thinking about the traditional New Year’s Day activities - reflecting and making resolutions. I have no resolutions, no regrets, but maybe some new goals.

It seems contradictory but I am a person who plans and prepares, but I am also open to changes. I can’t imagine any other way to be. People are often surprised by how rigid I am about certain things. The same people have seen me become more flexible. My only explanation is that I have learned to follow the path that leads to the best outcome. When the path leads to nowhere, I shall not be moved. When the path leads to bigger and better things, I don’t mind if it is unpredictable. I guess 2005 was about learning the difference between the two paths.

I have several mentors in my life. Each one of them has an understanding of one or more of my goals. They monitor me as closely as I allow. Every one of them told me the same thing in 2005. Stop preparing and start doing! How do you know you can do something unless you try?

One of the mentors was my professor when I studied for my doctorate. Have you ever known someone who was always right? Not someone who thinks that they are always right or want to always be right, but someone who really is right all of the time? Well, he is that person in my life. I used to frustrate him while I was at Cornell and I frustrate him now. He knew the difference between the things that would make a difference and the things that wouldn’t. He has never steered me wrong about anything. In fact, I learned humility or “how to eat crow” while working with him almost ten years ago. He can tell when I am ready for something long before I feel ready. Feeling ready and being ready are very different. I got a much better understanding about that life lesson in 2005. In 2006, I will trust myself more.

Another one of my mentors is an accountant who consults for small businesses. He taught me that the flow of money says a lot about your priorities. It seems so obvious, but there is no better wake up call than a spreadsheet that tells you where you have been, what you did, and what you wanted for the last year. I highly recommend a blunt talking accountant to anybody who feels any type of confusion in their life. Numbers tell stories with a clarity that you just not get with words! At the end of 2006, my spreadsheet will reflect the life of a more determined person.

My final mentor is also called my “lifestyle sensei” because I don’t know anyone who enjoys life as much as he does. We became friends very quickly and have remained so despite all of the changes that happen between young adulthood and middle age. He is such a great friend. In 2005, I realized that being a good friend is something that requires thoughtful discipline. My friend has contagious optimism and the ability to express it in ways that make people want to be around him. I think I can conjure up some of that energy for 2006 and be a great friend to more people.

Dr. LaMar researches, consults, writes, and speaks about mentoring relationships among professional women. Her weekly e-newsletter is available every Wednesday. Sign up at http://www.DramaFreeWorkplace.com
http://www.DrLaMar.com

[tags]mentor,goal,friends,love,confidence,skill,plan,resolution,year,2005,2006,holiday,begin,relax,enjoy[/tags]

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